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Date Doctor: How to ask her out

Someone recently came up to me and asked me how to ask a girl out. It seemed like common sense to me, but I decided to write about it anyway.

1. Set yourself apart. When you ask a girl out, don’t do something cliché. Don’t even use other people’s ideas. You need to make it your own and ask her in a completely original way that demonstrates your personality.

2. Don’t be cheesy. Pick-up lines aren’t the way to get a girl’s number or get her out on a date. They are cheesy. If you are going to ask a girl out, do something to make her swoon, not scoff.

3. Be clear about the direction of the relationship. If you ask a girl out and aren’t clear about what you want, you will drag out the relationship and experience unneeded pain. I once heard it described as “being upfront about your intentions.” Granted, you don’t have to spill everything right away. However, you might want to let her know where the relationship is going.

4. Read the signs. Girls are masters at giving off signals. If they like you, they may not tell you directly, but it should be obvious through everything they do. The way they act around you, talk about you or even the way they stand or move when talking to you can give off hints of whether or not they are interested. Remember, even if all the signs are a go, that still isn’t a sure yes. Some women are naturally friendly, which can be mistaken by men as flirtatious, and that doesn’t necessarily mean they like you. Sometimes that’s how they treat everyone.

5. Prepare yourself. Think about the general things you want to say. Walk up to the girl and get a conversation going. Talk about her interests and build on those. See if there’s an activity you can do together. When you ask her out, she has an incentive to go because it’s something she finds enjoyable.

6. Don’t be afraid of rejection.  If you get rejected, move on. Don’t wallow in your own sorrow. If anything, think about why it didn’t work and fix it. Some guys try the same thing with every girl they meet, and they get rejected a lot. Every girl is different and needs to be treated differently.

7. Look good, smell good and feel good. A female colleague once told me a story about a rather unattractive guy who walked by and she thought nothing of it. But once she smelled his cologne, she just wanted to be near him because it was an extremely attractive scent.

8. Don’t make it a big deal. Guys get so worked up about asking a girl out. Sometimes it’s their downfall. Calm down, take a breath and get a conversation going. A lot of girls don’t like guys unsure of themselves. Men ask women out every day. Relax.

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