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Date Doctor: Leveling the friend zone field

This week we are discussing the “friend zone.”

It is quite daunting for both guys and girls, as many feel that it is a steep wall, when it is actually just a steppingstone.

Becoming friends with a girl or guy is the first step to any healthy relationship.

When people complain about being friend zoned, it’s as if they are complaining that they are on their way to a relationship. However, if you want to move past the friend zone, here are a few tips:

Friend zone level 1: Benevolent Banter

Flirting is one of the best ways to communicate that you are  interested. If you openly flirt with them, the interested party and their friends will start to notice.

If they flirt back, things will start to move along. Ask them out while flirting, if they say “no” then it passes off as a joke, and if they say “yes” then you have a chance.
Friend zone level 2: Frolicking Friends

Whether a person is touch oriented or not, it creates a certain level of intimacy when you touch a guy or girl on the arm.

They will be able to remember what you said and associate touch with you.

Friend zone level 3: Verbal Vomit

Once they are flirting back and you feel like they are attracted to you, talk to them about it.

You need to ask where you guys are at in the relationship and if they want to move on to more than friends. Don’t be awkward about it or get angry, just talk about it with them.

Friend zone level 4: Don’t suck up

You may think the way to get any girl or guy is to be the “Perfect Gentleman” or the “Perfect Lady.” This assumption is wrong.

You need to be kind, but don’t give your dignity away.

That just opens you up to be used by people who don’t care about you. Don’t get me wrong. You have to be kind, but don’t let people walk all over you.

Friend zone level 5: Ask. Wait. Repeat. 

Don’t try once and give up. To get in a relationship, you have to pursue them.

It won’t just fall into your arms. Be careful though, being too repetitive in a short time or coming on too strong will harm the friendship.

Friend zone level 6: “Haraka, Haraka Haina Baraka”

This Swahili proverb translates: “Fast, fast brings no blessing.”

Trying to make it go fast won’t get you out of the friend zone, it will destroy your relationship. If you are willing to wait and take
it slow you will get farther, and can possibly make a friend into a signifi cant other.

Friend zone level 7: Don’t lose a friend for a relationship

Moving past the friend zone is great, but sacrificing a friendship in an attempt to move past it isn’t smart.

It makes you look like a jerk and ruins your friendship. If you remain friends, there is still a chance that it will grow into something more.

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