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Parting Words of a Senior: A case for shorts

Over the 21 years of my life, I have been passionate about many things, including Pokemon, Lunchables and saltwater pools.

However, I have never loved or cared about anything more than shorts.

After being invented in the summer immediately after pants were developed, shorts quickly became a fashionable, yet practical alternative to their long cousins.

Instead of wearing the cumbersome, heavy leggings, shorts were often worn when flexibility and airflow were more important than protecting one’s legs.

While pants may have some positive aspects and useful purposes during the winter months, they do not rival the year-round delight that is the short.

Shorts are multipurposeful and have been seen on individuals such as athletes, politicians, outdoorsmen and leisure enthusiasts, while the majority of people seen wearing pants include the likes of prisoners, lawyers and other sorts of miserable persons.

Despite all of these wonderful and factual statements enumerated above about shorts, the student body at Oral Roberts is still unable to adorn themselves with these banned marvels.

I respect the rules and accept the fact that I cannot wear shorts to class or in the GC.

However, the logic behind the rule seems, at least to me, immensely flawed.

To start, weather conditions in Oklahoma, especially in Tulsa, are rather extreme.

The weather either emulates the conditions of Siberia or the temperature in the ninth ring of Hell.

Alongside pants, I see shorts as an alternative for the latter extreme, not an offense against the Roberts legacy.

At this point, I could go on and give a few more points about why I think the ban on shorts is archaic and stupid, but I do not have any more room to further my argument against the flawed rule.

All I can do now is give the best and most hard-hitting reason for why I think the students at Oral Roberts should be allowed to wear shorts, and that is: we can wear flip-flops. Flip-flops!

I used to think the dress code was in place to maintain some sort of professional atmosphere through our appearance.

However, we can wear cotton-picking sandals known as flip-flops. Dear Lord, why?

That is literally the last article of footwear I would even think of using outside of the shower, let alone in a professional atmosphere.
It is just hard to understand this massive gap in reasoning.

Why should I be able to wear a shoe, which I believe is allowed at school in order to provide some sort of comfort and choice when it comes to footwear that does not reflect the professional dress that this university is partially famed for?

I have nothing against flip-flop wearers, but I think I should be allowed to display a moderate amount of thigh and still be acknowledged as a budding professional alongside my thong sandal-wearing compatriots.

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