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Goodbye from the Managing Editor: I’m moving into The Oracle office

A goodbye from the Managing Editor

“I don’t want to go.” – Doctor Who.

Same. Of course, I’m ready for real adult life—for living on my own, for having a full-time job, for growing up a little more.

But working at The Oracle is something I’ve always wished I could take with me. Sure, I’m ready to no longer be a student, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to my favorite people. I especially can’t say goodbye to my fearless leader, Cicely Rubottom; she’s still in my phone as “Cicely Rumbottom” because when we first met, I didn’t hear her correctly, and now I refuse to change it. I can’t do it.

Saying goodbye is too hard, so I’m not saying goodbye anymore.

Rather than going through the dreaded tears, the bitter parting, the dramatic hugs and declarations of “we must stay in touch, we must!” I’m simply not going to leave. I’ve thought it all out, and I really think it could work. I love my job at The Oracle too much to just pack up and move away.

So, without further ado—introducing The Oracle’s new permanent Managing Editor: Me!

I’m packing up, getting that diploma and moving into The Oracle office. I know administration may not approve this, but I’ll move in secretly, so let’s keep this I-refuse-to-say-goodbye-plan between you and me.

Here’s how I’ll do it:

First, I’ll slowly move things from my dorm to The Oracle office before graduation. The space under the Editor-in-Chief’s (EIC) desk makes for a nice place to sleep (I heard the Unofficial Assistant to the EIC often naps there), so I’ll just need my pillows and blankets to make things a little more homey and less office-y.

I’ll hide all my dress-code-appropriate clothes throughout the office, strategically placing my pants in one file cabinet and my shirts in another, covering them with a stack or two of old print issues. Shoes will be harder to hide, but I think The Oracle has me covered. I’ll just place a pair or two behind the dozens of old yearbooks that line the bookshelves, slipping them out undetected whenever I need them.

I’ve been using a shower caddy for almost five years now, so that won’t be hard to move. I think I’ll keep it in the advertising office, behind the printer. No one ever looks there, right? I’ll brush my teeth and get dressed in the tiny bathroom down the hall. When I need to shower, I’ll head to the Aerobics Center and sneak in behind a student, obviously looking like a student myself (I’m probably going to look like a student for the rest of my life; I don’t think I’m getting any taller. Being short really does have its perks.)

Now for all my books and knick knacks—these might be harder to move into the office, but I think I can do it. I’ll space them out, office by office, desk by desk. I think my fellow writers, editors and photographers won’t mind the place looking so cozy.

At night, I’ll hide in the EIC’s office as security locks up. When the coast is clear, I’ll watch Netflix on the office computers and eat leftover pizza from The Oracle office parties. During the day, I’ll keep doing what I love—editing and writing. I already know the new EIC, so I’m sure she won’t mind me sticking around. It’ll be just like it was before, right?

Saying goodbye is too hard. I know on the other side of painful goodbyes are healing beginnings, but I’m gonna skip the goodbye this time. I’m never leaving. See you around the office!

See also:

Farewell from the Editor-in-Chief: If these walls could talk…