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Divison I bracket tournament: A March Madness column

Sorry about your bracket, you picked all the right teams, it’s just that the teams that you picked decided not to win. Ironic huh? To make matters worse, if you thought that you had a chance to win Warren Buffets’ One Million dollars, you had approximately a one in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 chance. That’s nine-quintillion for those that stopped reading after nine.

That being said, I thought it fair to shed light on other things that are more probable than having a perfect bracket. According to Jeffrey Bergen, a professor of mathematics at DePaul University, an NBA player making 414 consecutive free throws is far more probable; the NBA record is 97. Or an NFL quarterback completing 96 consecutive passes; the NFL record for most completed passes in a row is 25. Or an MLB team winning 97 regular-season games in a row; the MLB record for most wins is 26. Or finally, my personal favorite, becoming President of the United States, coming in at 1 in 10,000,000.

So, don’t feel bad if your girlfriend had a better bracket because she only picked the teams with cute mascots. It was bound to happen anyway.

Just ask your college dorm know-it-alls. I’m sure that they had perfect brackets for all of 14 hours. Moreover, in a year where we saw the number one overall seed lose to a 16 seed, an upset that’s almost as devastating as the Golden State Warriors blowing a three-one lead, the odds were never in your favor (cue the Hunger Games theme song).

It’s March, what did you expect? However, a one losing to a 16 is a first. To give you another statistic, 16 seeds were 0–135 against number ones … until 2018.

Adding to the Madness, Loyola-Chicago quickly became everyone’s favorite Cinderella story after they edged out Miami, thanks to Donte Ingram’s buzzer beater, which was followed by Clayton Custer’s miracle buzzer beater against Tennessee to send them to the Sweet 16, which again, was followed by Marques Flowers and his buzzer beater to beat Nevada, to send them to the Elite Eight. All thanks to everyone’s favorite nun, sister Jean who received most of the praise after their win thanks to her prayers.

Unfortunately, their story ended in the Final Four thanks to the Michigan Wolverines, who won 69-57.

Speaking of, who didn’t enjoy Michigan’s run? Watching their game against Houston was pure perfection. Jordan Poole was clutch, another buzzer beater to add to the many Wolverine game winners within the past decade. Yeah, it was sweet, but for those sentimental fans out there, it’s just part of the madness.

Sure, watching these guys lose and cry on the court sucks, but on the flip side, watching the jubilation and sheer joy on the winning teams’ faces is priceless. Just look at Buffalo when they upset Arizona or Texas A&M when they knocked off North Carolina. Or even watching Florida State knock off Xavier and the formidable Gonzaga squad, another set of bracket busters that were exciting. It might have meant you lost $100 in your ESPN bracket challenge but hey, who cares, you were out after the second round anyways. Besides, this was the year of the 11’s, thanks Syracuse and Loyola. It was some ride.

As for the National Champs, bravo Villanova and congrats Divinchenzo.

To sum up this year’s March Madness, I picked Arizona to win it all and still came in second in my Bracket Challenge. Yeah, crazy isn’t it? So, thank you UMBC, Loyola, Syracuse, Duke and Kansas because March was yet again perfect.